Peter Pan vs. Captain Jamie Hook

The vicious sound of metal clashing filled the cavern. Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up, valiantly crossed blades with Captain Jamie Hook atop a high perilous cliff. Despite the fact she had a hook for a hand and had an overall spooky aura around her, Jamie was a very attractive young woman. She was dressed stylishly, wearing a blue jacket and purple miniskirt over a leather uniform, and brilliant cerulean hair.

As Jamie swung her cutlass at Peter, who parried with his dagger, the battle was watched by two spectators. Smee, Jamie's first-mate, and Wendy, Peter's delicate friend from England, who was sitting atop a high ledge, hidden from sight by shadows. "Oh Peter, do be careful!" she called in worry.

Peter stood on one foot to bend down on Jamie's sword and got off, causing the sword to vibrate. He then flew down and pulled Smee's hat over his eyes. Jamie tried to strike him down, but she missed as Peter grabbed her blaster and went to Smee, who pulled his hat off.

"Try your luck, Mr. Smee?" Peter asked playfully, as he started flying around while Smee tried to aim at him.

"Let him have it!" Jamie called to Smee. "Well, come on, you idiot! Blast him!"

Suddenly, Peter flew up in front of Jamie Hook and gleefully said "Right here, Mr. Smee!"

Smee aimed it as Jamie gasped, realizing with horror what Peter's little prank was. "HOLD IT, YOU FOOL!" Jamie shrieked, flailing about and breaking into a panicked sweat, tears forming in her eyes. "NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

But Smee fired, missed Peter, and instead hit Jamie as she fell down. BLAM! The sound of the blast echoed through the cavern.

"Captain?" asked Smee, and panicked as he dropped the blaster.

"Oh, how dreadful!" Wendy said, sorrowfully burying her face in her arms. Even Jamie Hook didn't deserve that fate!

"What a pity, Mr. Smee," Peter said in amusement, as he took Jamie's fallen hat and put it on. "I'm afraid we've lost the dear captain." Little did he know that Jamie, who had only been grazed by the bullet and was now angry, reappeared behind him and was about to stab him with her sword!

"Captain!" Smee cheered. Well, that spoiled it for Jamie as Peter turned to her.

"In the back, captain?" he teased, wagging a finger.

Jamie tried to stab Peter, but he ducked, and Jamie stabbed her hat instead. Peter got his own sword. Then he and Jamie clashed their blades back and forth. Wendy covered her eyes as the two enemies fight on, only to later open her fingers and peek through curiously.

"Give it to him, captain!" Smee cheered, "Cleave him to the brisket!"

Jamie was trying her best to do just that, but Peter kept dodging her attacks and taunting her. Flying behind her after one missed blow, the mischievous Peter knocked her bangs over her eyes, blinding her. This was only momentary, as the furious young woman lifted her hair back up and slammed her sword down on Peter's dagger so hard that Peter almost fell to the ground. Peter began backing away from Jamie, who continued stepping forward, her blade still touching Peter's. Jamie smirked triumphantly before smugly declaring, "I've got you this time, Pan!"

Suddenly, Peter smiled impishly and pulled his dagger back, opting instead to point downward. Jamie looked at him curiously and then glanced down, seeing only water....and then she gasped in horror as it hit her that she had walked right off the cliff and was now standing in mid-air! And while Peter Pan could fly, Jamie could not! Screaming, she began to fall, her sword dropping from her hand as she did. Flailing in the air madly, the villainous woman just barely managed to plunge her hook forward and embedded it deeply into the rock of the cliff. Jamie now hung on for dear life from her hook, several dozen feet above the water.

Peter flew back on top of the cliff and sheathed his dagger, knowing the battle to be won. Now it was time to have some fun at his enemy's expense! "Well, well!" he chuckled as he looked down upon Jamie, "A codfish on a hook!"

Hearing this, Jamie shot a furious glare up at Peter. She never felt so frustrated and humiliated in her life that hot angry tears began to fall from her eyes as she shook her fist and yelled "I'll get you for this, Pan! If it's the last thing I do!"

"The poor woman!" Wendy remarked, feeling a little sorry for the villainess in spite of herself and wishing that Peter would go a little easier on her.

Suddenly, the silent cave began to be filled with a new sound. Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock.....

Wendy frowned and narrowed her eyes as she glanced toward the water. "Oh my!" The girl clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming at what she saw. It was a-!

Peter's face broke into a wide grin, since he know who it was. He put a hand to his ear and asked "I say, Captain.....do you hear something?" in a teasing tone of voice, the grin on his face widening.

"No!" Jamie yelped. She heard the sound, all right, and it filled her with absolute terror. There was only one thing in Neverland that could be making that sound: the crocodile! This giant beast was always on the lookout for food, and his swallowing of an alarm clock was how he received his signature ticking. During a previous encounter with Peter Pan, the scurvy brat had chopped off her hand and thought it would be funny to feed it to the crocodile, and the cursed beast had liked the taste of her so much that he eagerly stalked Jamie Hook wherever she went, licking his chops for the rest of her. Glancing downward at the water, Jamie repeated "No!" and began shaking all over.

A pair of reptilian eyes were sticking out of the water and coming closer, the tick-tock sound growing louder as they did. Then finally, the crocodile's whole head burst out into view. The crocodile smiled in pure delight at the sight of Jamie dangling and wiggling above him like bait. And then, without further delay, he jumped up out of the water and straight at the villainous pirate, his jaws opening wide.

'''"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" '''Jamie shrieked at the top of her lungs as she desperately kicked up her legs to avoid the salivating jaws. '''SNAP! '''The crocodile luckily managed to bite down on the hem of Jamie's coat, and with a distinct ripping noise, it was torn clean off. There was a splash as the crocodile landed back down in the water, the stylish piece of clothing in his jaws. With a satisfied smile, the crocodile began chewing the fabric, loudly smacking his lips while fondly looking back up at Jamie as he did. Finally the beast swallowed the clothing, making a large gulping sound as it travelled down his throat, and slowly licked his chops in pleasure at the taste left behind by the girl who wore it. It was just like he'd felt after eating her hand: she was delicious!

“Oh, Mr. Crocodile..." Peter called down playfully, "Do you like codfish?"

The crocodile's smile widened upon hearing this and his tail actually began to wag vigorously as he began excitedly nodding his head in response, like a dog playing with his master while being offered food.

"You DO?" Peter replied in exaggerated enthusiasm, lifting a leg over Jamie's hook as if he was about to kick it from the cliff and send her straight to the crocodile.

From her hidden spot on the ledge, Wendy, however, did not find this exchange funny at all. Gaping in wide-eyed horror, she fell backward a little with a hand on her cheek. "Oh Peter, no!" she cried, her tone of voice full of scolding disapproval. Evil or not, Jamie Hook was a lady, and should not have to endure this kind of pain and humiliation!

Jamie, meanwhile, had managed to kick her legs through the air until her feet touched the cliffside and she desperately attempted to climb up, but it wasn't even halfway over for her. The hungry crocodile leaped back up at her for another taste. '''SNAP! '''This time, the beast's jaws clamped down upon the seat of Jamie's pants and as he went down, so did they. The pants stopped sliding at her feet, the crocodile now hanging from them in mid-air.

The pirate woman's face blushed bright red with embarrassment upon hearing the obnoxious brat above her make an lewd wolf whistle before doubling off with laughter. Jamie reached down with her free hand in a desperate attempt to pull her dignity back up. This would prove to be her undoing, as the intense strain made her hook slide downward through the rock, and then broke loose from it altogether. With nothing holding her in place, Jamie felt a brief moment of weightlessness before plummeting like a stone, screaming all the way down. The crocodile promptly opened his jaws wide and the screaming woman fell right into his awaiting mouth. SNAP! The thunderclap of the beast's hungry jaws closed and his large scaly head disappeared beneath the briny depths with a loud splash.

Wendy stared down at the water in shock. "Oh, how dreadful!" she sobbed, turning her head and burying her face in her arms.

With a loud gulp, the crocodile swallowed his prey whole. Jamie now found herself living out her worst nightmare: trapped in the dark and squishy insides of the crocodile's stomach. Tears filled her eyes as blind panic overtook her, and she scrambled to make her way back up the beast's gullet.

The air was quiet for a brief moment until the crocodile's head suddenly reemerged. The jaws were pried open to reveal Jamie still in his mouth, her beautiful blue hair disheveled and most of her stylish clothing ripped and partially digested from being inside the beast's belly. Lifting her head up, the terrified young woman screamed as hard as she could: "SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Smee was already scrambling to his rowboat. “D-don't worry, Cap'n! Stay right there now, m'am!" he stammered, "I'll save you, m'am!"

Jamie managed to get a foothold in on the ends of each of the crocodile's jaws, so she was able to climb up, standing precariously over the eager gullet. She stretched her long legs out to prevent the crocodile from closing his jaws on her, as he was currently trying to do. Soon, the beast's strength won out and he snapped his jaws shut, but Jamie managed to stay standing. The crocodile repeated the motion, hoping to make Jamie lose her footing. '''SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!''' But the pirate lady was resilient enough to maintain her pose. As she was being endlessly scizzored around by the relentless snapping jaws of the crocodile, Jamie put her hands around her mouth and called out to her henchman once more. "SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

But Smee's clumsiness was delaying him, as he had a hard time getting into his boat, and it almost left without him! Jamie's feet couldn't hold out and she lost her footing. The villainess soon found herself in the crocodile's mouth again, standing unsteadily on the quivering tongue which rippled beneath her feet.

Frantically, she pressed her hands up on his top jaw as it attempted to close down on her, pushing it upward instead. As she did, Jamie slowly inched her way towards the end of his jaws in an attempt to jump out of the reptile's maw. The crocodile couldn't help but grin at this, he admired this girl's pluck. This wasn't going to stop him though in ultimately swallowing her whole. SNAP! With one great chomp, the crocodile bit down on Jamie's foot and tore the boot and sock straight from it. Peter laughed loudly at this, while Wendy gasped in horror and buried her eyes in her hands.

Jamie let out a loud shriek as she jumped clear into the air, clutching at her bare foot, which throbbed painfully. She unfortunately landed headfirst in the crocodile's waiting mouth with a wet plop, but Jamie luckily managed to spread her legs apart to prevent herself from being swallowed whole. The villainess moaned pathetically as she found herself pressed uncomfortably against the large slimy tongue while the crocodile sank beneath the murky depths. The crocodile, pleased with having his prey right where he wanted it, began to slide the top of his tongue against Jamie's body. It moved down her backside, bare leg and bare foot multiple times, with the crocodile's tail actually wagging as he tasted the pirate lady's flesh.

The two adversaries soon reemerged with a half-naked Jamie Hook standing upside down over the crocodile's jaws who was still overly keen on swallowing her. She attempted to push herself off and make a jump for it. The crocodile, found this rather annoying, raised his tail and slapped her hand. Jamie yelped in pain as she was flung out into the air, arms flailing wildly. The crocodile jumped after her, eagerly snapping his jaws at her as he did. '''SNAP! SNAP!''' There was a splash, and then both beast and girl resurfaced right next to Smee's rowboat. Jamie's eyes widened in shock as she realized that she was now on top of the crocodile's snout. The crocodile was thus looking right at her, and he gave Jamie a wide, devious smile. "C-cap'n! Cap'n!" Smee shouted as he saw his half-naked captain pass.

'''“SMEE! SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”''' the frightened woman cried as she quickly jumped up and ran off the crocodile's snout, her bare foot slapping wetly across it's scaly body, and then made a desperate jump for the boat as she came to the tail. Smee threw out his arms, hoping to catch his beloved captain when she landed. Then suddenly, the crocodile popped his head up from the water and pushed the rowboat back with his claw. He opened up his mouth and Jamie ended up landing in it. SNAP! The beast's jaws closed triumphantly. But just as he was beginning to enjoy his tasty treat, Smee lifted his oar over his head and yelled "Give her back!"

He slammed the oar downward....and just then, Jamie pried the croc's jaws open and screamed '''"SMEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" WHAM!''' In almost comedic fashion, the oar hit Jamie squarely on the head, and the force of the blow sent both her and the crocodile down to the bottom of the briny depths. Shrugging off the cranial injury, Jamie swam back up to the surface and leaped onto boat. Seeing this, Smee immediately began rowing toward a small opening that served as an exit from the cave. "ROW FOR THE SHIP!" Jamie shouted at her henchman in a panic. "ROW FOR THE SHI-!"

THUD! Jamie had been standing up in the boat, and so as it passed through the opening, her head accidentally hit the cavern wall and she fell with a splash back into the water. Peter whistled to the crocodile and shouted "the codfish is back in the water, Mr. Crocodile! Go get her!"

"PETER!" Wendy shouted, sounding completely aghast. She did not at all approve of him being so mean to his female nemesis and encouraging the crocodile to eat her alive!

The crocodile was delighted to see this perfect opportunity to get his meal, and he quickly began swimming toward Jamie. The dizzy villainess lifted her head up above the water. Her thick, wet hair was covering her face, so she parted it with her hands in order to see. To her horror, what she saw was the crocodile coming right at her!

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!!" Jamie shrieked as the jaws snapped inches from her face, and she immediately began frantically swimming toward’s the cave’s entrance. But just as she reached it, a wave swelled up for, under her and she ended up slamming her head into the wall once again.

The crocodile made a jump for the evil lady, and ended up slamming right into her bare rump so hard that the cavern wall broke apart. Now on the other side, Jamie began swimming for her life, screaming and calling after her henchman up ahead.

"SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

The crocodile was hot on her heels, swimming and snapping his jaws hungrily, unwilling to stop until he got her back inside his stomach.