Peter Pan vs. Kitten

The sound of metal clashing filled the cavern. Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up, valiantly crossed blades with Kitten atop a high cliff. Kitten was a pretty teenage girl wearing an elegant pink prom dress, and with long blonde hair with a matching pink headband. She was the daughter of Killer Moth, who had come to Neverland hoping to conquer it. Although she always acted like a perky, vapid valley girl, Kitten was actually quite cunning and nasty, bossing people around and willing to go to any underhanded lengths to get what she wants. Peter Pan, protector of Neverland, was keen on foiling her plans, which led them to this showdown in the interior of Skull Rock, a cavernous landmark in the middle of the ocean.

As Kitten swung her sword at Peter, who parried with his dagger, the battle was watched by two spectators. Wendy, Peter's delicate friend from England, was sitting atop a high ledge, hidden from sight by shadows. She covered her eyes as the weapons were slung, only to peek between her fingers moments later. Fang, Kitten's boyfriend (who had a spider for a head), stood by his rowboat, cheering his girlfriend on. "Give it to him, Kitten! Cleave him to the brisket!"

Kitten was trying her best to do just that, but Peter kept dodging her attacks and taunting her. Flying behind her after one missed blow, the mischievous Peter pulled down Kitten's headband on her face. This was only momentary, as the furious girl readjusted her headband and slammed her sword down on Peter's dagger so hard that Peter almost fell to the ground. Peter began backing away from Kitten, who continued stepping forward, her blade still touching Peter's. She smirked triumphantly and smugly declared "I've got you now, Peter Pan! "

Suddenly, Peter smiled and pulled his dagger back, opting instead to point downward. Kitten looked at him curiously and then glanced down, seeing only water....and then she gasped in horror as it hit her that she had walked right off the cliff and was now standing in mid-air! And while Peter Pan could fly, Kitten could not! Screaming, Kitten began to fall, her sword dropping from her hand as she did. Flailing in the air madly, the criminal girl just barely managed to pull out her fiery whip and thrust it forward, and it's pointed edge buried itself into the rock of the very top of the cliff. Kitten now hung on for dear life from the end of the whip, several dozen feet above the water.

Peter flew back on top of the cliff and sheathed his dagger, knowing the battle to be won. Now it was time to have some fun at his enemy's expense! "Well, well!" he chuckled as he looked down upon Kitten, "A catfish on a hook!"

Hearing this, Kitten shot a furious glare up at Peter. She felt so frusturated and humiliated that tears began to fall from her blue eyes as she shook her fist and yelled "I'll totally get you for this, Pan!  If it's, like, the last thing I do!"

Suddenly, the silent cave began to be filled with a new sound. Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock.....

Peter's face broke into a wide grin. He put a hand to his ear and asked "I say, Kitten.....do you hear something?"

"No!" Kitten yelped. She heard the sound, all right, and it filled her with terror. There was only one thing in Neverland that could be making that sound: the crocodile. This giant beast was always on the lookout for food, and his swallowing of an alarm clock was how he recieved his signature ticking. Kitten knew that he had been stalking her ever since she arrived in Neverland, meaning he'd probably decided that she looked like a nice dinner. Glancing downward at the water, Kitten repeated "No!" and began shaking all over.

A pair of reptilian eyes were sticking out of the water and coming closer, the tick-tock sound growing louder as they did. Then finally, the crocodile's whole head burst out into view. The crocodile smiled in pure delight at the sight of Kitten dangling and wiggling above him like bait. And then, without delay, he jumped up out of the water and straight at Kitten, his jaws opening wide.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Kitten shrieked at the top of her lungs. SNAP!  The crocodile bit down on the end of Kitten's dress, and with a ripping noise, it was torn clean off. There was a splash as the crocodile landed back down in the water, the hem of Kitten's dress in his jaws. With a satisfied smile, the crocodile began chewing the fabric, loudly smacking his lips and looking back up at Kitten as he did. Finally the beast swallowed the clothing, making a large gulping sound as it travelled down his throat, and licked his chops in pleasure at the taste left behind by the girl who wore it. His hunch had been right: she was delicious!

"Oh Mr. Crocodile," Peter playfully called out from atop the cliff, "Do you like catfish?" The crocodile's smile widened upon hearing this and his tail actually began to wag as he began excitedly nodding his head in response. "You  do?" Peter replied, stepping backward and lifting a foot in the air, almost as if to deliver a good kick to the whip's end embedded in the rock before him.

From her spot on the ledge, Wendy's eyes widened, her mouth agape in shock. "Oh Peter,  no!" she cried in horror and disapproval. This was definately  not<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;"> how one was supposed to treat a lady, even an evil one!

<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">Kitten, meanwhile, had managed to kick her legs through the air until her feet touched the cliffside and she desperately attempted to climb the whip up. But before she could make it, the crocodile then jumped up for another bite. SNAP!<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">  This time the beast's jaws clamped down upon the rest of Kitten's dress and as he went down, so did it. The dress stopped sliding at Kitten's feet, the crocodile now hanging from it in mid-air, and the girl's panties were exposed. Peter stuck his fingers in his mouth and let out a wolf whistle before doubling off with laughter. Blushing bright red, Kitten reached down with her free hand and attempted to pull her dress back up.

<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">This was a grave mistake, as the strain made by her body performing this action shook the whip's end. It slid downward through the rock and then broke lose from it altogether. With nothing holding her in place, Kitten plummeted like a stone, screaming all the way down. The crocodile immediately opened his jaws up wide and the girl fell right into his awaiting mouth. SNAP!<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">  The reptile's jaws closed and his head disappeared beneath the water with a splash.

<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">All was quiet for a few seconds. And then another splash occured as the crocodile's head reemerged. Kitten was still in his mouth, hair disheveled and half of her clothing in tatters, and was holding his jaws apart with her hands. Lifting her head up, the girl screamed as hard as she could:  "FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!!!"

<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">Fang was already scrambling to his rowboat. "D-don't worry, Kitten! Stay right there now!" he stammered, "I'll save you, Kitten!"

<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">Kitten managed to get a foothold in on the ends of each of the crocodile's jaws, so she was able to climb up. She stretched her long legs out to prevent the crocodile from closing his jaws on her, as he was currently trying to do. The croc's tongue curled inward toward his mouth, as if insisting Kitten come on in. Soon, the beast's strength won out and he snapped his jaws shut, but Kitten managed to stay standing. The crocodile repeated the motion, hoping to make Kitten lose her footing. '''SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!'''<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">  As she was being endlessly scizzored by the snapping jaws of the crocodile, Kitten put her hands around her mouth and called out to her partner once more. "FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!  FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!!!"

<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">But Fang's clumsiness was delaying him, as he had a hard time getting into the boat, and then he almost began rowing while leaving the actual oars behind! Kitten's feet couldn't hold out and she lost her footing. The villainess found herself in the crocodile's mouth again. Frantically, she pressed her hands up on his top jaw as it attempted to close down on her, pushing it upward instead. As she did, Kitten attempted to step out of the reptile's maw. The crocodile couldn't help but grin at this, he admired this girl's pluck. This wasn't going to stop him though, and he slammed his top jaw down right on Kitten's foot. SNAP!<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;"> Kitten yelped in pain as her foot slid right out of her shoe and she shot upward into the air, clutching her bare foot in hopes of soothing the soreness. And then she fell, upside-down, right into the hungry crocodile's mouth yet again. Luckily, her stretched-out legs and feet prevented her from being swallowed.

<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">At this point, Fang had finally begun rowing his boat furiously to come to his sweetheart's aid. Kitten, still upside down and even more of her clothes torn off, attempted to push herself up and out of the croc's mouth with her arms. But the crocodile, finding this annoying, raised his tail and slapped his bottom jaw with it. The impact of this flung Kitten out and into the air, arms flailing wildly. The crocodile jumped after her, snapping his jaws at her as he did. '''SNAP! SNAP!'''<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">  There was a splash, and then both beast and girl resurfaced right next to Fang's rowboat. Kitten's eyes widened in shock as she realized that she was now on top of the crocodile's snout. The crocodile was thus looking right at her, and he gave her a wide, devious smile. "K-Kitten!" Fang shouted as he saw his half-naked girlfriend pass.

"FANG!  FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!!!"<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;"> the frightened Kitten cried as she jumped to her bare feet and ran off the crocodile's snout, across it's scaly body, and then made a jump for the boat as she came to the tail. Fang threw out his arms, hoping to catch his lover when she landed. Then suddenly, the crocodile popped up from the water and pushed the rowboat back with his claw. He opened up his mouth and Kitten ended up landing in it. SNAP!<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">  The beast's jaws closed triumphantly. But just as he was beginning to enjoy his tasty treat, Fang lifted an oar over his head and yelled "Give her back!"

<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">He slammed the oar downward....and just then, Kitten pryed the croc's jaws open and screamed  '''"FAAAAAAAANG!" WHAM!'''<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;"> Fang's oar hit Kitten right on the head, and the force of the blow sent both her and the crocodile down to the bottom of the ocean. Shrugging off the cranial injury, Kitten swam back up to the surface and jumped onto the boat. Seeing this, Fang immediately began rowing backward, toward a small opening that served as an exit from the cave. "Row for the plane!" Kitten shouted at her boyfriend. "Row for the pla-!"

THUD!<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">  Kitten had been standing up in the boat, and so as it passed through the opening, she instead hit the cavern wall and fell with a splash back into the water. The crocodile was delighted to see this perfect opportunity to get his meal, and he quickly began swimming toward Kitten. The villainess lifted her head up above the water. Her thick, wet hair was covering her face, so she parted it with her hands in order to see. To her horror, what she saw was the crocodile coming right at her! "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!!"<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;"> she shrieked, and immediately swam to the opening. But just as she reached it, a wave swelled up under her and she ended up hitting the wall once again.

<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">The crocodile made a jump for the evil girl, and ended up slamming right into her so hard that the cavern wall broke apart. Now on the other side, Kitten began swimming for her life, screaming and calling after her boyfriend up ahead. "FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!!!"<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">  The crocodile was hot on her heels, swimming and snapping his jaws hungrily. As she swam, Kitten heard what sounded like a rooster's crow. She knew it was Peter Pan, celebrating his victory....and her defeat. "I will totally get him, I swear it!" the criminal fumed. SNAP!<span style="font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;">  "Aaaaaah!  That is, like, once I get back to the plane!  WAIT UP, FANG! FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!!!!!!"