Nami vs. Spike



Right off the shore of Neverland, Nami of the Straw Hat Pirates was in a bad mood. The greedy, scantily-clad, orange-haired pirate girl was looking over a map of Neverland and fuming about Peter Pan, wondering where the best place to set a trap for the Boy Who Never Grew Up would be.

"Um, Nami?" her shipmate Usopp said as he approached her, "I really don't think you oughta be looking into pursuing revenge against a kid. It's not good form, y'know?"

"Good form, Usopp?" Nami asked with a forced smile, which immediately faded as she screamed "SCREW GOOD FORM! Did Pan show good form when he cut my top off!?" Nami's face turned a little red just mentioning that humiliating experience.

"C'mon, Nami!" Usopp replied, "Taking your shirt off like that was only a childish prank!"

"Ah, but throwing it to that mastiff, Spike!" Nami continued, "That overgrown mutt ate it, and liked the taste of me so well that he's followed me ever since! Licking his chops for a chance at my skin!"

Nami's voice broke a little as she said this, and an involuntary shudder passed through her body as she sat down in a chair. Just the thought of being at the mercy of that huge, slobbering creature was terrifying to her!

"And he'd have had you by now, if he wasn't always tracking you by scent." Usopp pointed out, "So you're lucky! He always warns you in a way, with his loud Sniff, Sniff, Sniff, Sniff..."

Sniff, Sniff, Sniff, Sniff....

Usopp's voice trailed off as the actual sound of loud sniffing and snuffling could now be heard. Nami jumped up from her chair, her eyes widening and sweat forming on her brow. Turning her head and looking over the rail of the ship, she gasped as she saw none other than Spike there on the beach. The large mastiff had his nose to the sandy ground, sniffing in deeply as he followed Nami's tangerine-smelling scent toward the ship.

"Usopp..." Nami said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Spike looked up and saw Nami looking over the ship's rail at him. Happy to see her, the dog grinned and let out a bark.

"Usopp....." Nami whimpered.

Spike then began licking his chops, his tongue drooling excessively as it slid across his lips.

"USOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPP!" Nami screamed, bolting from the rail and crouching behind her slender shipmate. "Save me, Usopp! Don't let him get me! Don't let him get me, Usopp! Usopp!"

While he was an even bigger coward than Nami, Usopp didn't have the peculiar fear of this dog that she did, so he walked over to the rail and scolded Spike. "Hey, now! Shame on you, upsetting poor Nami like this!"

Spike was now in a begging position, panting heavily and barking in turns.

"There'll be no hand-outs today!" Usopp shouted, "Shoo now! Shoo! Go on, get outta here!"

A disappointed look on his face, Spike turned around and began walking away.

"I-is he gone?" Nami asked, to which Usopp nodded his head.

Nami was shaking all over as she sat back down. "I can't take this anymore, Usopp! I can't!" she moaned, burying her face in her hands. But this ordeal was far from over for her....

Against all sound advice, Nami had gone ahead and set a trap for Peter Pan. The two ended up in a duel, and this ended with Nami hanging for dear life by one hand from a relatively high cliff above a large, deep ditch.

"Well, well!" Peter laughed as he flew onto the cliff directly above Nami, "A tomboy in distress!"

Glaring up at the boy, tears of frustration and humiliation began streaming down Nami's cheeks as she shook her fist in anger. "I'll get you for this, Pan! If it's the last thing I do!"

SNIFF, SNIFF, SNIFF, SNIFF...

Peter heard this sound and grinned mischievously, knowing who it was. "I say, Nami...do you hear something?"

"No!" Nami gasped. Looking down, she yelped "NO!"

Spike was there, and he had a delighted grin on his face as he saw and smelled Nami dangling and wriggling above him. With a booming bark, the giant mastiff leapt upward at her!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Nami screamed.

With a great big chomp, Spike bit down on the long skirt Nami had over her shorts and tore it off of her. Landing back on the ground, Spike happily chewed the clothing up and swallowed it, licking his chops at the taste Nami left behind on it as his tail wagged furiously.

"Oh Mr. Spike...do you like tomboys?" Peter asked the dog playfully.

Spike panted heavily as he nodded his head in excitement.

"You do?" Peter replied in exaggerated enthusiasm, gesturing at Nami.

Wendy Darling, Peter's British female friend, watched this exchange with her eyes wide and mouth agape in horror. "Oh Peter, no!" she said, her tone full of scolding disapproval. She didn't think that Peter should be so mean to a girl like this!

Nami kicked her legs frantically in an attempt to make it up the side of the cliff, but Spike jumped up again and caught the seat of her pants in his jowls. He pulled them down, and Peter couldn't resist giving a wolf-whistle before doubling over with laughter.

Blushing furiously, Nami struggled to pull her shorts back up. But the motion of this put strain on her body, and the hand holding onto the cliff's edge was loosened and finally slipped. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Nami shrieked as she plummeted to the ground below, where Spike was waiting for her.

His eager panting now reaching a fever pitch, Spike stood in front of Nami as she groaned and slowly tried to pick herself off the ground. The moment she was face to face with him, the dog slammed his huge, slobbering tongue on her face and gave it a slow, wet lick.

Nami began to freak out. "USOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPP!" she screamed, even though Usopp wasn't around and thus her screams were meaningless.

The pirate girl fell on her butt and rapidly crawled backward to escape the dog, but Spike was back at her side in one great leap and licked Nami from her midriff area to her forehead. He repeated this lick, and Nami screamed "USOOOOOOOOOOPP! USOOOOOOOOOOOOPP!"

Finding a large rock, Nami scrambled up it and began kicking at Spike. Spike, however, caught one of her boots in his jaws and ripped it off, exposing Nami's bare foot. Without hesitation, the dog licked across her sole. "AAAAAAH!" Nami screamed, grabbing her foot and sliding off the rock, prompting Spike to give her another lick up her face. To Nami's horror, he then bit off her other boot and began licking both her feet.

"PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! N-NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOO!" Nami laughed, tears filling her eyes, "U-USOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOPP!"

After a while, Spike stopped to smack his lips happily, enjoying the taste of Nami's skin that filled his mouth. Seizing the opportunity, Nami jumped to her bare feet and began running, hollering "USOPP! USOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPP!"

But as her feet were now wet, she eventually slipped and fell back onto the ground. When she turned herself back upward, she saw Spike charging straight toward her, slobber flying from his tongue as it hung out the side of his mouth. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!" Nami screamed, scrambling to get up again only for Spike to jump at her and give her another lick, this time across her bare shoulder and cheek.

Spike licked Nami all over her exposed skin until she finally managed to push him off of her and resume running, with the giant dog in pursuit! "USOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPP!!!" Nami screamed hysterically as she was chased off into the distance, with Spike's barks echoing as he stayed hot on her heels.

A joyfully laughing Peter Pan hovered in the air and called out "Go get her, Spike! Good boy!" before letting out a loud, triumphant crow.